| omg |
[May. 13th, 2008|11:09 am] |
God really does love me after all.
I have been having a terrible few days. Yesterday was awful. I wrote a 2 or 3 page entry about how awful my day was, and decided to dump it because it was so damn negative. Everything was eating at me. Mother's day, work, school, the impending reality of adulthood, my fucking twitching eyelid. Everything. I almost cried yesterday at my stupid video class, this bitch...ugh. We had a lighting workshop at night instead of a normal class, and apparently we were supposed to bring our cameras, but SHE DIDN'T TELL US THIS and then did that awful condescending "well exactly what did you think we were going to be doing?" to make herself look like less of a dumbass for NOT TELLING US TO BRING OUR CAMERAS. We haven't brought our cameras to class all quarter, why would we arbitrarily decide to bring them that night?
So yeah, I wanted to hit someone. I went to the gym yesterday to vent, and EVERY MACHINE THAT I'VE EVER USED was taken. That has never happened before. I just went home in a huff. And, finally, this screenwriting class which I've been keeping on the farthest of the backburners is finally catching up to me. I have to finish a screenplay (which is looking like it's going to be at least 120 pages) by the end of the quarter, June 4th. I'm on page 28.
So, naturally, I'm freaking out about when these 92 pages are going to magically write themselves. I have to present some stuff tomorrow, and I wanted to get at least to page 50, but that just isn't happening. So my eyelid's twitching, my heart is racing, my fingers are flailing in surrender, and I am thisclose to giving it all up and hibernating for the rest of the quarter.
But then, a stream of merciful hope broke through my window.
I just got an e-mail from my screenwriting professor. He canceled tomorrow's class.
Every day I'm convinced there's some higher power flicking rubber bands at me in my sleep, you know? Fucking with me. I know giving power to "fate" or "God" or whatever is sort of a cop-out, but you don't really expect me to blame myself for all the shit that goes wrong in my life, do you? Whatever. I feel so much better right now.
Oh sweet, this means I can go to the gym tomorrow to make up for Monday too! AH TODAY IS TURNING OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN YESTERDAY. I mean, yesterday was bad. I was even toeing that "Holy shit this is so not worth it I hate school I hate life what the fuck am I doing with myself" line of despair. But now I feel great.
Anyway, that's it. I graduate in a month and a day. Isn't that terrifying? |
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| Another Long Silence |
[May. 12th, 2008|02:42 am] |
I figure I should let people here know.
I ended up getting the JET job. It was a bit scary for a bit there but things ended up working out.
On retrospect, this year has been one of the best years of school for me since Sophmore year. I haven't seen as many friends as I'd like to because of all the responsibility that was laid at my feet, but I did manage to make three cool new ones and spend some time teaching some of the Japanese exchange students stuff about America just like I was taught in Japan. Giving back to some ill defined "karma" in that way feels really good. My Japanese hasn't stagnated entirely, Yuri Izumi is a fantastic friend and TA.
The beginning of the year and getting back into painting with JT was fun, as was all the puppet stuff we got to do. I wish I could remember more, but I suppose that writing so much allowed me to forget the bad stuff too.
The semester was marked by an intensification with my thesis and more involvement with the Japanese exchange students. Winners all. The Gundam RPG Dave is running isn't half bad either.
And of course there's graduation. I'm glad to be finally leaving college in some sense, but I'm going to miss the good times in Columbia. From the late night Halo sessions with Beth/Chris/et all, to the good times in Hatch Sophmore year, to the rocking times Junior year as I sort of rebuilt things in Twain, to the good times right before I left for Japan with everyone in their respective off campus places...my life has taken an interesting course, especially in the last two years. There were several dark times of note and I would definatly change some of the things I did or didn't do. Still, on the whole, living here and meeting or becoming friends with all of the people in my life has been a lot of fun. I have no doubt that, as happened when I left high school, the bunch of us will keep in touch. Our relationships may change and time may pass but memories and the people associated with them have a habit of becoming welcome touchstones to our pasts.
I imagine that at some point in the future I will get around to revamping and relaunching this journal, probably as its own website as I record my adventures in Japan as a JET. For real this time, since I'll be gone for such long periods of time I assume people will want to keep up with me. But for now I'm just enjoying my last few days as an undergraduate.
It's been a very long, varied, and interesting road. But, here at the end of it, I have to say I'm at the very least happy with a lot of it. |
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| imac |
[May. 8th, 2008|11:03 pm] |
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well it's here and it's uhh huge. A good or bad huge I have yet to determine. It'll defiantly take some getting used. Going from laptop to desktop is jarring and using a mouse is totally foreign to me. |
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| late Juan update |
[May. 9th, 2008|10:52 am] |
(some people have asked about this and i'm sorry I didn't post this sooner.
and the blog is gone now.)
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Juan update - and thanks for your support
Friday, April 04, 2008
Dear Friends,
In case you haven't had a chance to see the website lately, I want to let you know how Juan is doing and how his case now stands. There is an update on the website: http://www.freejuanruiz.blogspot.com
Juan's case was resolved in February and he is back home in Madison, working and doing community service. He is on probation for 2 years, after which he can apply for U.S. citizenship. Although we believe that he - and all of us - have the right to peacefully protest, this is clearly a good resolution for Juan at this time. As citizens of the U.S., we must remain vigilant that our constitutional rights are upheld. As citizens of the world, we must stand up for humane treatment for everyone.
I would also like to thank all of you for your support for Juan and his friends who worked hard to help him through this harrowing event. The letters and petition played a significant role in Juan's case and helped boost Juan's spirits. We were successful at raising enough money to pay for Juan's legal and related expenses.
Finally, we want to give a special thanks to the excellent lawyers who went above and beyond to help him - Diane Regan, Jodi Thorp and Fred Carroll. We know that Juan's case would not have turned out so well without you. And to all of you who organized fundraising events and gave on your own, thank you again.
An additional special thank you to Attorney Stacey Taeber for her invaluable and generous help with the immigration issues.
Thank you all!
-from Laurel and Juan's friends.
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posted on http://freejuanruiz.blogspot.com Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Federal case completed
On Feb. 19, 2008, Juan appeared in Federal Court in San Diego on
charges stemming from his participation in a protest at the
U.S.-Mexican border on Nov. 11, 2007. We are happy to report that his
case was resolved without endangering his immigration status. Juan
agreed that he had been present at the protest, playing his drum, and
had been too close to the Border Patrol officers. The judge commended
Juan for his volunteer work and social activism and said that he
wished more young people were as engaged as Juan. The letters of
support from Juan's teachers, family, friends, fellow activists and
community members, were very helpful in showing the judge and
prosecution about Juan's open and caring character. Juan is back in
Madison, Wisconsin. He needs to complete 100 hours of community
service - never a problem for him! - and will be on probation for 2
years. After that, we hope that Juan will attain his U.S. citizenship.
He is truly "one of ours" and deserves the protection of citizenship.
We don't anticipate any further legal costs for this case, though he
will need help for naturalization in the next few years. We thank
everyone for their support. Truly, he would not have been able to do
this on his own. Gracias a todos. |
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| biiiiiiiiiiitch |
[May. 9th, 2008|10:32 am] |
From the editors of the New York Times:
"We endorsed Mrs. Clinton, and we know that she has a major contribution to make. But instead of discussing her strong ideas, Mrs. Clinton claimed in an interview with USA Today that she would be the better nominee because a recent poll showed that “Senator Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again.” She added: “There’s a pattern emerging here.”"
Vote for me because I'm white! |
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| help me |
[May. 8th, 2008|11:09 am] |
my eyelid keeps twitching
it won't stop :(
what do I do about this? |
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| home made radio telescope |
[May. 8th, 2008|09:26 am] |
when i was trying to get signals from jupiter and cassiopiea a, and got am radio instead, i made a simple antenna out of an old porch screen with a wire run around it that connected to a short wave radio. i have ideas for art projects, sculpture conceptual art radio telescopes, but i haven't made them yet. well, actually i _did_ get some signals i _think_ might have been from jupiter. but i got a lot of bob uecker, too.
just in case you'd like to try it, i found a link to a similar antenna at
http://www.jupiterradio.com/jove-loop-antenna.php
( www (dot) jupiterradio (dot) com/jove-loop-antenna.php )
i didn't make a circular loop, just ran a wire around the edge of the screen, and just propped it up in the back yard with old pieces of 2x4s to aim it. |
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| Seven of Nine manip |
[May. 7th, 2008|08:22 am] |
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) be_lanna and her Janeway w/ wings manip inspired me to a winged Seven of Nine manip. Io and behold! Please note: There is no shadow, because fairies don't cast one (yes, I made that up right now, because I didn't know how to make the shadow look right).
( Moonlight Seven of Nine Fairy ) |
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| Seven of Nine |
[May. 5th, 2008|05:51 pm] |
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What are the best websites for high-quality pictures of Seven of Nine? Thanks! |
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| April Icons 2008 |
[May. 5th, 2008|12:50 pm] |
Here are the icons that I did for April, 2008. You're more then welcome to take as many as you like, but please give credit. Thank you.
~27 Star Trek
~15 Disney
~4 Misc
  
( Icons Under Here ) |
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| 50 voyager icons of 7x11 "Shattered" |
[May. 5th, 2008|11:31 am] |
I am doing a 50 icon challenge for the community of ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) episodic100. You may take as many as these as you wish, but please give credit. Feedback is always nice to have!
PLEASE NOTE: Please don't alter any of my icons. I have worked really really hard on them!!
Special Thank you to Trekcore for all the images!! :D I WUB YOU GUYS!
Also Thanks to my friend, Camryn who let me use her fiddle in #29! XX♥OO
These icons are dedicated to my friend halfbloodme who suggested that this was my next episode to do and to my fellow Vambies! ♥
  
Once, a long time ago, I called this replicator a glorified toaster. It never forgave me.- Janeway |
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| fanmix too! |
[May. 4th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
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I also decided to make a Voyager famix while I'm doing the requests lol. This Voy monster seriously started attacking me in the last month, so maybe that's why I feel the need to go Voy-crazy. I already have a list of songs I plan on using, but if you have any that you think really stick out for the whole crew, a specific character, a certain couple, whatever... just post here and I'll add it :) |
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| vicodin poetry/doggerel |
[May. 3rd, 2008|11:39 am] |
it turns out i have arthritis in my rib cage, of all places, and the dr. gave me vicodin to take at night. i can't take vicodin every night, it's too much, but i've been taking it a couple nights a week. vicodin makes my mind race and poems and stuff pop into my head, so i've been writing it down.
i love drugs.
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4-25-08:
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the new world
the new world is somewhere else
someplace pristine
someplace unsullied
someplace we haven't already trampled and wrecked
let's go off to the new world
pile bags into wheelbarrows
load up the space ships
say goodbye to the past
forge on to the bright new future in the new world
start off fresh
free to make the same mistakes
circle in the same ruts with shiny new things
head down those old well paved roads to hell
in the new world
---
getting something anyway
[a true story]
i built an antenna to listen to jupiter and io
and i got bob uecker
cassiopeia a got drowned out by baseball
long earthly radio waves stumbled and rumbled
and got caught in my net
silvery signals from space slipped away
fill the creel with whatever you can find
fish or radio waves
baryons, leptons, matter, forces
something to show and talk about later
---
[trying to write how i felt but not getting it]
distant roaring
storm on the horizon
huge night air filled with swirling wind
curtains billow and sigh
roaring hugeness
night opens up into empty space
rumbles, drones, chimes and buzzing
fragments of thoughts never finish forming
weightlessness
dark wind
precarious balancing on a membrane of now before it breaks into then
pieces of time slipping away
bright promises and glimpses of hell swirl and shimmer
and are carried away out the window on the night breeze
----
business lunch
the old cartoon characters sit at the lunch counter,
with pennies in their plastic pocketbooks to buy
the coffee, drawn with swirly lines of steam,
and blurry halftone colored pie from the rotating display case.
their ink on paper cutout bodies folded to sit on the red leatherette covered stools
big conversation balloons of tissue paper appear out of nowhere
and fade away at the end of the sentence
exclamation points and stars hover over heads
and double lines appear in the air to accentuate their gestures.
after the corny jokes and well worn observations are finished,
they wink and high five each other
and fold up, vanishing into another dimension
leaving a scrap of paper on the counter with the tip,
"buy low, sell high".
-------
from early april --
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spring walk
i want to soar over the misty forest
stride in seven league boots
gray springbud branches lacy beneath me
and then lie down on the forest floor
an old log with new life sprouting out all over me
mushrooms and seedlings and bugs
tiny insects dancing on the moss
spring flowers blanketing me as i sleep
---
dust patterns in the dark house
rain patterns in the night
thinking of space junk and dancing shoes
put on those ruby slippers
those seven league boots
those high heel sneakers
and stride and strut
on the sparkling trail of earth's new manmade ring
in a flash
all the space junk is transformed into goblin treasure
bits of screws and insulation and lost gloves
twirl and sparkle
and transmute into lead crystal goblets and sequined lace doilies and pastel petit fours
a miniature milky way closer to home rings the earth
a glittering dance floor
to tap and twirl through
floating and spinning upside down
making eddies in the cosmic canapes
and stellar gewgaws
jeweled snuff boxes, opera glasses and napkin rings
tip toe
bound
stomp and pirouette
until the sun's radiation is absorbed enough to break the spell
and back you are in bed on a rainy night musing,
the space junk pieces of metal and plastic
silently orbiting far above |
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| note about the requests |
[May. 2nd, 2008|07:35 pm] |
I'm starting them now. I'm going to do them as they were requested, and hopefully I'll post them all at once (but if I take too long I'll post them individually whenever they get done). The only reason that these won't be the fastest requests I've ever done is that finals are in two weeks, and I'm currently working on the last projects for a few of my classes. The day after finals I have to have the plate taken out of my leg from when I broke my ankle, but I don't think that should get in the way too much when it comes to the requests.
BTW, if anyone wants to make any requests that missed it last time, check here. |
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accomplished
